This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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