The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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