i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize