I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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