Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Small penises have feelings too.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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