If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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