dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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