He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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