After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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