She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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