yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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