I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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