It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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