she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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