Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize