okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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