dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize