i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize