Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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