***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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