Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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