maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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