he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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