So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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