The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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