My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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