I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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