I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize