So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize