Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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