i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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