Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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