Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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