Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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