You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Terrible idea I love it
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