your parents love me but you hate me
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize