You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize