I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize