last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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