I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize