Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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