why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I need to stop coming to work sober
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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