I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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