You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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