Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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