Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize