I think I died a long time ago.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize