at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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