i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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