for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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