This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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