Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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